I don’t do a lot of these review stuff, so each episode will get a sentence or two. Most of you won’t be interested. Good for you. I wouldn’t be either. Hopefully it doesn’t need mentioning that this post contains spoilers and I ask of you not to spoil the seasons I have not yet seen.
Everything Changes aka Episode One
She has a gap in her front teeth. I bet the ending is more suspenseful to those who haven’t seen Doctor Who.
Day One aka the episode where everyone gets death by snu snu
Oh, so this isn’t like Doctor Who at all… Why did Netflix even bother saying “Doctor Who Spin-off”? It’s like saying The Matrix is a spinoff of the Simpsons. (YAY! Slightly aging references)
Ghost Machine aka the episode where the old crazy man killed decades ago
I’m gonna be honest… I’d probably blackmail that old man too. What’s he going to do with his money? Go on a vacation??
CyberWoman aka the episode where Ianto keeps a deadly realdoll in the basement.
Why is Ianto still working for them? A few months ago we fired someone for stealing, which is a few steps below almost killing us all. Were we harsh on her or something?
Small Worlds aka the episode where little fairies kill everyone
I rather liked this episode. I knew of these fairies (the “real” ones) before watching the episode, it was neat that they incorporated a real life event into the show. There was also the twist ending where the good guys didn’t win. Thats a first for me. I like it.
Countrycide aka the episode where all the villagers are eaten
"Because it makes me happy." I just… this is… This is the darkest show I’ve ever watched. Also, I now have legitimate reasons to hate Owen. I didn’t like him to begin with but now theres a reason. I hope he dies.
Greeks Bearing Gifts aka the episode where Tosh reads everyone’s mind.
Oh hey, a Tosh heavy episode. I guess everyone needs to almost kill everyone in the name of love and it’s her turn now.
They Keep Killing Suzie aka the episode where… they keep killing Suzie, I guess…
This episode only works if Suzie knew that the glove could bring her back permanently like that, but how could she have known? Then again, before this she wasn’t even in a full episode. “Gloves usually come in pairs”. Eerie. You know what goes good with metal gloves? Metal Boots. Legend of Zelda taught me that.
Random Shoes aka the episode where the ghost stalks Gwen and we’re all for it.
Ok, but, no. Just no. This whole episode contradicts everything the previous episodes were establishing about death. “its all darkness—LOLNOPE—UP TO SPACE I GO”. I’d be terrified. Like my ghost caught on some space hook and the Earth was leaving me.
Out of Time aka the episode where Owen falls in love with a female pilot
I liked this episode, even if Owen has this annoying tendency to be on screen for a lot of it. The moral of the story is “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Only the young adapt and the old just die or run away… for some reason.
Combat aka the episode where its like what I think “Fight Club” is all about.
My one chance to see Owen die for good. Oh well, I’ve never seen Fight Club but I think this episode is based off it, plus Weevils.
Captain Jack Harkness aka the episode where Captain Jack kisses Captain Jack
I found Torchwood’s Captain Jack to be a bit of a jerk in this one. Tosh is actually fearing her life is gone and she’ll have to be in America during a time where everyone hated the Japanese and he’s just like “Pssh, whatever. Been here done that. Just wait 70 years and everything will be back to normal.”
End of Days aka the episode where Captain Jack looks dumb in a field.
…Meh. I didn’t like this episode as much as the others. Everything was good except where he’s just kneeling in a field… screaming. And they replay the same clip of the giant monster—I can’t tell if the monster is enjoying it, or is confused, or what. But for some reason the monster goes away. Also, are we supposed to be shipping Gwen and Jack? Because I don’t.
My ships aka No one gives a damn
Owen x Weevil
Owen x Any Deadly Alien That Eats Him
Jack x Jack from another time
Jack x Ianto x Jack (Because Ianto seems depressed)
Again, I ask that none of you spoil anything for me, or I’ll spoil the ending to the Titanic to you. I feel bad for Rhys. I’m just waiting for that to fall apart.